My wife and I are currently selling our first home and buying our second. I’m sure many of you reading this have gone through this process many more times than we have and understand the frustration that can come along with it. When we purchased our home 10 years ago, we completed the process feeling like we had been taken advantage of and went into this sale and purchase with the goal of avoiding that feeling again.
This past week I found myself needing to use my Mandt skills to manage myself and make a good decision as we negotiated with the folks buying our house. We had gotten to the point where we felt that they were asking for too much from us in the process, and my wife and I started feeling pretty negative toward these people that we hadn’t even met thinking of them as selfish and trying to take advantage of us. We even considered terminating the contract. It was then I had to remember to affirm my feelings and choose my behaviors. We had lost objectivity and lost sight of our goal of getting the house sold because our emotions were heightened. We were finally able to work through it and come to agreement with the buyers. Just yesterday the buyers came to the house looking to measure the yard for fencing, and I was able to meet and talk to them. We got along really well and now I realize that I like these people who are dealing with the same stress of buying and selling houses that we are.
Whether in our personal or professional life, when we become emotionally escalated in reaction to another person it’s hard for us to stay objective and remain focused on our goals. This is when the skills in The Mandt System of affirming your feelings and choosing your behaviors, checking your perceptions, and maintaining a level of objectivity are the most important in order to stay focused on the goal.
Doug ZehrVogt, Mandt System Faculty